Freelancing. That mythical land of pyjamas, flexible hours, and working from anywhere… in theory. In practice? It’s more coffee, client chaos, and convincing yourself that invoicing counts as “admin cardio.”
But not all freelancers are the same. Oh no. From the wide-eyed newbie to the client ghoster (yes, we see you), here’s a highly scientific breakdown of the types of freelancers you’ll meet in the wild—or possibly in your own mirror.
1. The Imposter Syndrome Intern
They’ve just started. They have no idea what they’re doing. But somehow, they’re still more organised than half of us.
Rates? “Oh I don’t know… like £10? Is that too much?”
Confidence level: puppy in a thunderstorm.
Favourite phrase: “Sorry for bothering you again!”
Secret skill: Will rewrite your entire website for a smile and some mild encouragement.
We love them. Protect them at all costs.
2. The Coffee-Powered Overachiever
They wake up at 5am, journal, meditate, send a cold pitch, design a logo, and probably ran a marathon before 8am.
Uses Notion, Trello, Asana… all at once.
Has five clients, three side projects, and a course they “just whipped up”.
Favourite phrase: “Let’s circle back.”
Signature move: Personal branding so strong, even their houseplants follow them on LinkedIn.
We’re not jealous. You’re jealous.
3. The 'Reply in 0.3 Seconds' Freelancer
Message them at 11:57pm. You’ll have a “no problem, already done!” reply before the clock hits midnight.
Available: always.
Favourite platform: Slack (they live there).
Motto: “Boundaries are for amateurs.”
Downside: May vanish in six months and reappear with a stress-induced side fringe.
4. The Mysterious One-Client Wonder
They’ve only ever had one client. And they’ve worked with them for 8 years.
Nobody knows what they actually do.
Somehow, they’re always on holiday.
Income: reliable.
Effort: minimal.
Superpower: Working 4 hours a week and thriving.
Honestly, we salute them.
5. The Platform Jumper
Started on Fiverr, flirted with Upwork, dabbled in LinkedIn, now trying TikTok.
Always updating their bio.
Follows at least 15 “how I made £10K in a week” gurus.
Favourite phrase: “New platform, new me.”
Weekly crisis: “Do I need to start a YouTube channel?”
We’ve all been them. Some of us still are.
6. The Artist Formerly Known As Employed
Escaped the 9-5 and now aggressively makes memes about their old boss on Instagram.
Backs up everything with a pie chart… and trauma.
Excel wizardry? Still intact.
Favourite phrase: “This would’ve taken 6 meetings and 3 sign-offs in my old job.”
Living proof you can turn resignation into redemption.
7. The Ghost (of Freelancers Past)
Legend says they once had a full client roster and posted tips every day on LinkedIn.
Now? Unreachable.
Email bounces.
Portfolio? Vanished.
Some say they went in-house. Others say they became a forest witch.
We may never know.
8. The Chill Creator
Freelances “just for fun”, never chases clients, and somehow always has work.
Rates? Decent.
Emails? Polite but firm.
Vibe: unbothered and moisturised.
Superpower: Calm in the face of a “just one more thing” client message.
They’re what we all aspire to be when we grow up.
So, Which One Are You?
The truth is, we’ve probably all been a few of these at different stages. Freelancing is a journey—and whether you’re the Notion-notetaker or the elusive ghost, there’s space for your own version of success.
Just remember: however you freelance, don’t forget to invoice.
